The lake does wonders for my brain, it helps me to reflect and ponder those things that were a scramble -
the emotions inside, that I couldn't make sense of, and wanted to act upon.
My best mate/mentor knows me better than anybody, texted me at the start of the year (responding to my impatience):
"2020 is the year of patience for you, mate".
I thought, 'bugger, that doesn't sound very exciting!' On the contrary... so I am finding.
I often wanted to act on impulse, delude myself that I gave it considerable and rational thought and that it was okay to "send", or "speak", or whatever avenue of communication I could find. I tempered it down, so I thought, when all I really wanted to do was deliver a hefty blow!
Now, that's raw honesty!
I search for the truth and what the right thing is, for me to do. I look at the daily horoscopes from time to time - bit of a laugh, some rings true, and other times not. But for me, this one was bang on:
"Today is one of those days when you could feel lethargic and downbeat, Aquarius. For some reason, even if you have a driving urge to get up and do something, it seems as if there's a two-ton weight sitting right on top of your head. Meanwhile, everyone else is off and running. You're probably better off this way. Learn from others' mistakes when they land flat on their face. Gather information so you know best how to proceed on your own when the weight has lifted. It will happen soon".
Well, I felt proud. It has lifted, and I didn't lose it or speak out of turn, that wasn't even the issue at all. It's this, this is my learning, this is my reflection, I hope it inspires:
Take careful stock of who I am.
Examine myself on a regular basis - and if I think I am so important that I don't need to - think again, I am headed for a "thud".
Take responsibility for my own "thoughts", "words", "feelings", and "actions". I can only give an account of my own, and not another's.
When I put down another human being, I am reflecting my self-image. When I am puffed up with pride I can only see myself.
Come down a peg or two and "get real", stay humble in my abode, and "current circumstances".
Shun incongruency like the plague - otherwise known as BS, saying one thing but doing another.
Finally, be grateful for what I have, I work(ed) bloody hard but I didn't get here alone.
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